Taco Bell and I share a deep history. To understand this, you first need to realize that I grew up on microwave burritos and generic brand cereal. That's about it. For most of my life I had the palate of a mexican prison inmate. No offense to Mexico. Whenever we were on a road trip my family would stop at Taco Bell and allow each of us kids to pick two menu items...I'd supplement my allowance by sucking on packets of hot sauce. I applied to work at Taco Bell the day I turned 15 (only to be told they can't hire 15 year-olds). I came back 365 days later and took my rightful position. Enough said.
Now that I'm older and have spread out my culinary wings I almost never eat fast food. Key word, almost. So when I heard that Taco Bell had done the fast food equivalent of landing a man on the moon, I had to check it out. Yes, I'm referring to the Doritos Locos Taco. A regular taco inside a shell of pure nacho cheese flavored Doritos. Amen.
Was it amazing? Yes. Was it sinful? Probably. Did I think I could make it better? You know it. Over the weekend I headed south of the border ( of Snohomish County) and tried an experiment of epic proportions.
Pictured above (left to right) you'll see the Doritos Locos Taco, the Volcano Taco, and their love child. I call him "The Locano." The Doritos Locos Taco gives immediate satisfaction when it hits your lips. The shell is coated in powdery nacho cheese and cocaine, but the inside is just regular old taco. The Volcano Taco tells a different tale.
The Volcano is a regular taco with addition of a substance straight from the nicer part of hell. Lava sauce. It's like nacho cheese with hot sauce mixed in. Actually, that's exactly what it is. When the Volcano first hits your mouth you feel deceived. That beautiful red shell is actually just a regular hard shell colored red! However, once the Lava Sauce hits your tongue you realize how wrong you were. You're in love.
So, the Doritos Locos Taco provides instant gratification with its powdery exterior, and the Volcano Taco indulges your inner demons with a slow burn. Why can't Taco Bell pull out the stops and bring together the Yin and the Yang? Wait! They can!
Introducing "The Locano!" You take that Doritos Locos Taco and match-make your way into pure fast food ecstacy with a dose of Lava Sauce. When the Loco and Volcano hook up, the off-spring will never let you down. From the second it hits your lips to the heartburn and regret following your last bite, you'll know two things. 1: This isn't healthy. 2: You'll be doing this again.
